I was an active kid, I lived for playing team sports in my community.

Most days after school, the neighborhood kids would get together for casual team games. I could always identify the kids who didn’t play organized sports. They didn’t have the same language and understanding of the rules as I did.

They were almost always at a disadvantage to those of us who had been coached before. We knew how to use pre-determined strategies and skills to gain an advantage. Sure, some of those other kids had outstanding natural ability, and so they were going to keep up or even beat me, but I was generally playing from a different knowledge level, as I had had a coach.

If you asked me to describe myself, my answer three years ago would be vastly different than the answer I’d give today. 

I’d list my pre-conceived answers based on how confident I felt in the moment. Depending on who you were or my certainty about what you thought of me, I’d say some concoction of the following:

I’m a mom, a wife, a spiritual seeker, an extrovert with some introvert tendencies, a people pleaser, a teacher, a friend (sometimes good, sometimes bad), a secret keeper, a storyteller, a personal coach, a terrible housekeeper, a klutz, and maybe an artist. I could add and subtract to this list depending on the day.

Nowadays, I am intentional when I describe myself. I have shifted from saying, “I am,” to, “I’m someone who ____, I spend my time ______, I enjoy ____” Why is this shift so significant? When I used labels as my identity, I would do one of two things:

• Get really comfortable with the label, seeing no reason for growth or improvement

• Feel shame at the label and try to hide what I perceived as my bad parts

What I Teach

Direct Reflect Expect was imagined as I was desperately trying to figure out how to make my life work. It has evolved into a set of proven principles I rely on to both take myself and others to places that were once not even imagined. Get familiar in my private Facebook group: Direct Reflect Expect Inner Circle

• Direct – Directing attention inward is the first step to gaining authority over our internal navigation system
• Reflect – Our surroundings and experiences give us information we can interpret to reflect upon our beliefs, decisions and actions. From here we can determine if we are on course or need to re-calibrate
• Expect – The way to our goals and desires is to get quiet, connect in, and embody the feeling of “it being done.” The deeper you can allow this feeling to saturate your senses, the greater the inspiration, which leads to action with expectancy

I have lost over 100 lbs on this journey, kicked an alcohol addiction and found deep committed love after swearing I’d never go there again. These are only the big highlight wins. Everyday I wake up in gratitude, following the principles and teaching others to do the same.